Apologize and admit that you made a mistake, but that you are working towards improving yourself and becoming a contributing member of society. Reading is great, as long as you don't flaunt your intellectual gifts everywhere, mind your own bloody business and don't make friends too quickly. Typically you are on 23 hour lockdown no fun and games, no books, no soap, no stuff, when you finally fall asleep they do hourly head checks which sucks, cause they wake you up. Dear Reddit, I'm probably going to jail later today. (Most prison attacks are group affairs, you fight with one guy, and his friend that you've never said a word to shanks your ass). r/Choosingbeggars can make some pretty crazy demands... including DEMANDING that you take their place in jail! Discuss neutral things like sports, health care reform, the hotness of actresses, etc. Anyone suggesting that he deserves that is a malignant, immoral dope who should be in jail instead of this man. Don't get locked in to discussing criminal activities, family problems, other inmates, or religion. You will end up HIS bitch, or he will sell you to someone as a bitch. I am assuming it's USA. If you think anyone has beef with you, pay it off. I may not know about prison discussions, but I've been in some pretty heated health-care reform debates. Seriously though, good luck, and hope you come out virtually unscathed. Because you WILL get cut up just as bad, or worse case, you kill someone, and now you just slapped a 25 yr prison sentence on the back end. It looks like im pissing, but i'm using somone elses piss. Call the judge "Your Honor" too, not sir, they like that. Unless it directly involves you and your safety, it doesn't involve you. rubyist5eva 1 day ago. The deputy refused, at which point the complaint said Sunde held the IV pole as if she were holding a baseball bat, telling the deputy, "I'm not going to jail. I've never been to jail, but it interests the hell out of me. How do I prepare myself for this, and what should I know. They do research on this stuff for a reason. Also, just like everyone else, this man does not deserve to be raped. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. 8)Don't narc on fellow inmates. If someone mouths off to you, walk away. Because they’re going to say that I abused my position as a fiduciary, which I probably did, right? Most likely nothing will come of it, but it will keep your occupied with a goal to accomplish, and you may luck out and get a resentencing. If someone pisses you off, walk away. If you can, push for a halfway house, house arrest, or something where you can continue to work. Many people in your group will be trying to get out of jail ASAP or awaiting sentencing, so they won't try to become permanent leaders by beating you up etc. That's because you've never been to prison. share. What kind of advice do you have? If you eat that honey bun I offered you then you fucking owe me. Keep moving. From their once we go in to do the test, I take a little needle and stab the condom. Since it's jail, you probably won't get as much pressure to join a gang, but decline if you are offered. If nothing else, it makes you look good. To defend against someone with a shank, extend your hands outwards with a slight bend in the elbows directly in front of you. Politely decline. save. You need to be exercising EVERY day, as much as you can. Keep moving backwards, but don't turn your back. Don't try and be an aloof loner, but don't get to cozy with anyone. I’m trying to figure out what risk mitigation techniques and what trading pricing regimes are going to land people in prison after the fact in the Reddit future. Basically, think of it as high school for adults. Start working on your job resume so you can hit the streets ready to go. They will administer a TB test if you refuse they will put you in a padded room naked for everyone to look at like a monkey in a zoo. Going to jail should be a terrifying thing. Don't act tough, don't get involved in any gangs, stay within your group (short timers with mild offences). Swat downwards at the hands and arms of your attacker if they try and slash or stab, to knock the blade away from your torso, head, and groin. OK, first, you need to create an elaborate tattoo covering your entire upper body with blueprints, and cryptic clues about the particular jail you will be in, in order to facilitate your escape. That's golden. I already have a trade and have a full time job lined up when I get out. 3)Don't fucking do drugs while in jail. Don't gamble on card games. Why a TB test? If they say they're in jail for burglary, they're in jail for Arson, aggravated assault, and burglary. I’m kinda lost now. It will make the time go faster, and you'll "look" and "be" better able to defend yourself. 1.1k comments. "2)Don't fall into the Mentor/new guy trap. Hold you head up, act confident, if you find yourself in a fight situation that you can't buy out of/escape from. Apologize and admit that you made a mistake. You'll probably have an easier time finding drugs in jail than you could in the streets. Nobody's gonna blame you for wanting to size them up. But I'm asking you not to put me in jail.” 7)If you get the opportunity to become a trustee, take it, no matter what it is. Some dude will try and "help you out" as the new guy. edit #11) Don't be a dick. If you're on your way to jail and you aren't at least a little bit frightened, you probably belong there. read some books and learn some things. As a short timer, you'll probably have a place with a TV and some other inmates - be nice, don't talk too much, don't ask too many questions. Face reveal at 10 followers. 10)Don't...fuck..up...again. If you are definitely going to jail, ask the judge if you can be sent somewhere with a trade school or training program. Discuss neutral things like sports, health care reform. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Level 2 you get books, stuff to read, write, draw, you socialize people ask why you're there, most cases they will all laugh at you and call you an idiot, which you are, seriously how many offenses for DUI or Aggravated DUI did you have to merit 8 months? Politely decline. hide. Move as far away as you can from where you were living before. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Keep it on the level of coworkers that you aren't friends with. Alright you've passed level 1 now they move you into a more permanent cell. Explain everything that you are doing to improve yourself (please be in school, or at least taking courses). Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Don't be ashamed to bribe someone with luxuries to get in good favor, or ease a hurt ego. 4)Get all the money you can together, get your family to put it on your books as soon as you get there. reply. Don't fuck around, Behave and read books you'll get out earlier on good behavior and don't waste 8 months of your life. Depends of who you are, what you are in for, how long you are in for, the number of times you already went in ( I guess), the hopes you can have. I’ve read a comment on Securus’s fb page, someone has the same issue. And yeah, if you're at a minimum facility, it's probably not going to be that hardcore. You don't get snacks any time you want in jail. I'm not going back to jail." (written a few years ago in jail and i'm not sure if it it's a poem or prose but here goes) LIFE ISN"T FAIR High school from hell, from the gossip to the … Admit too much and their hands are tied. Press J to jump to the feed. I too have had my share of jail/state pen. So enjoy your PBJ's, bologna sandwiches with giant peppercorns and pimentos, jello. There is always someone bigger and more dangerous than you in jail. 2)Don't fall into the Mentor/new guy trap. 5)Don't try and be a badass, but dont' be a bitch. You'll probably be given a job in jail, so just do as you're told. Maybe I should go to jail. I was a nerd and I went to state prison for 10 years... as you can see, I survived. Also, don't try to make friends with the guards. Going to jail can be a terrifying thing. If you lose, you lose. You will end up HIS bitch, or he will sell you to someone as a bitch.". I knew someone in state who had been locked up in the fed and he said that it was easier because you have plenty of things to distract you, like they offer classes both in education and hobbies. Wear a suit and tie to court. Most newbies will try and sleep their time up. These are not people to hang out with on the outside. So the President is retweeting that nut Lin Wood who is calling for Brian Kemp to go to jail in Georgia. Not just talked about it, actually attacked you or pulled a shank. The Allen Bradley Micrologix 1400 is a powerful small PLC with awesome options for communications and expandability. He's in jail right now, I don't know where, but I'm on a list of people to be contacted if he gets out (either normally or by escape) ... No one in there is going to just do you a favor. All this does is make you more of a target, deteriorates your physical and mental health, and wastes your time. C'monnnnn, it's what a TRUE friend would do! The highest sought after jobs are Kitchen workers, but even working a chainsaw clearing trees off of power lines is better than sitting in a cell all day. Even if you get into a shank fight with another inmate that has one, and you win, you still lose. This thread is archived. THAT ONE TIME WHERE YOUR FRIEND WAS BEING RACIST; AND AFTER, HE SAYS "I'M GOING TO JAAIIIILLLL!!!" You get into bad debt real fast with a drug habit. Not for a long, long time. I already have a trade and have a full time job lined up when I get out. at the very least, File a damn appeal. This was my first offense. report. The only thing is IF they catch me cheating, what would happen? As soon as you get out, Move. What things can I do to pass the time? Talk nice to them when they are around, don't talk about them when they aren't. I will be serving this in a county jail. Completely agree. 1)Stay away from tattoos. Don't believe a FUCKING thing they tell you, and don't pry into their personal lives. The Allen Bradley Micrologix 1400 is a powerful small PLC with awesome options for communications and expandability. Shut your damn mouth and say, "I didn't see anything", or "I don't know what happened". If you are a white straight male, like most Redditors, you probably won't be forced into any gang issues, and county jails are more for assault/robbery cases anyway. That show is shit. But then they are going to leave, and you are going to stay in your cell with some very pissed off inmates. What things can I do to pass the time? Be careful not to let to many people know your plan though. So, I guess, it’s not because of me being in France (and using an app for my American phone number to be linked to my French phone number). Props to you and I hope your time was short. What kind of advice do you have? If they say they're in jail for murder, they're in jail for DWI. the guards will make nice with you, and clap you on the back for helping them find that hooch. I worked in US intelligence and I'm worried. So as long as you're not a discarded disease infected douche nozzle you should be out in about 3-4 months. If your jail doesn't have a furthering education class, enroll in drug counseling....or mental health counseling, or whatever. i find it amazing how much this actually applies to life outside of prison. Fuck. Look motivated to learn. I will be serving this in a county jail. Your incarcerated, not dead. Heir to Social_Imperialist, long may he reign. It isn't going to help you. Not really much time left for you now, but I always thought to myself if I knew I was going to jail for an extended period of time, I would absolutely learn some sort of fighting and self-defence discipline. level 1. Also, eat all your meals. The only way Trump and his associates can prevent themselves from going to jail in 2021 is to remain in power, no matter the actual results of the election This is going to go to the court.” “[I]f you’re going to continue to tell them what you just told me, I’m going to jail, okay? Don't act smart, just focus on being tough and getting through it and be prepared for the fact that most county jails don't have great facilities (nothing like federal prisons). So I'll get the first question I know I'll be asked out of the way first: Why? If you win, you lose, because now someone's pissed at you for winning. Press J to jump to the feed. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Somebody will always try and get you to smuggle them sugar from the kitchen, or extra socks from the laundry, or pickup some smack off the side of the road you are picking up. Politely decline, tell them you were going insane sitting in your cell all day, and you can't risk losing the job. 9)Shanks are great, if you're an accomplished knife fighter that doesn't care about spending a month in 23 hr lockdown if you get caught. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Talk to them, respect their culture and heritage. Also you probably wont get a boner for a long time so throw in some furious masturbation sessions beforehand or with hand? Don't drop the soap, and if you do just think in something nice. Be careful with this. It will speak to your character and responsibility. This is WAY too small of a forum to answer this question but I would SINCERELY like to help you so I will try and give you the basics. Don't bring a weapon to a fight if you can have it taken from you, because it will be used on you. Also, just because he's going away for ten years doesn't mean that he did something horrible. It also says a lot about high school. From everything that I've read/heard (in nonfiction books, on the internet, people that have been in jail), this is seriously the best condensation of advice ever. Just stay cool, and treat it like a boring summer camp. Be nice to your fellow inmates. Keep your mind busy. thank you all for supporting me thus far & i will see you all in the future. Give them shit from time to time, share cigarettes, toss them a hostess cake, whatever. Sort by. Don't talk to anybody. People sum up others within seconds of meeting them. Just coast through and try not to think about the fact that you're in jail too much. 6)Stay the fuck awake. short selling more than 100% of the stock is an easy one. He was not sentenced to "10 years of rape". By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Don't try to hang out with anyone who's trouble because any shit you do might get you into more trouble and more jail time. best. Basically, think of it as high school for adults. xoIG: @annalisemishlerhttp://patreon.com/annalise Put your back to the wall, make ALOT of noise so the guards will notice, watch for secondary threats. Is tuberculosis that prevalent in America? Despite your idealogies and beliefs, Marijuana is still illegal. That being said, don't just roll over for everything. I think you should Binge watch "Orange is the New Black" on NetFlix. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Turn your palms to your face ( a knife slash across the back of the hand is better than your wrist or palm) Get into an open area and move constantly away from your assailant, trying to get as close to the main door as possible, because that's where your only help is coming from. 10 years ago. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. After spending some time in jail (see my AMA) I can attest to it..this is good advice. I'm going to be serving 8 months for DWI and leaveing the scene. If nothing else, ask the judge if you can have 2 weeks before remand so that you can give your employer enough time to find a replacement. White male, Full time decent paying job, that made a horrible decision. Think of the cold hard karma you'll be reeling in when you post the AMA, once you've gotten out. In NYS leaveing the scene is a Class E Felony, thats what bought me a county year, or 8 Months. The only time you should narc on an inamte is if they have made an attempt to harm you. IF they say they're in jail for Embezzlement, they're in jail for raping two nine yr old girls. Play only friendly games. And that is why i'm asking how bad is jail. It may sound simple, but it makes a positive impression. Prison ink is guaranteed Hepatitis. Once you become a trustee, DON'T FUCK IT UP. In fact, I take that back. DON'T. Keep to your own group, don't be overly attached, and don't try to be outstanding. But as of right now I'm going to strap someone elses urine to my dick(a condom). If someone instigates with you, walk away. An image tagged jail,friend,meme,new. In most cases you first arrive they will put in C-class which is usually classification last about up to a week, they see if you're an asshole or psycho. 91% Upvoted. Some dude will try and "help you out" as the new guy. Getting caught with it will result in the same shit as before. I'm going to be serving 8 months for DWI and leaveing the scene. Little luxuries like packaged food and cigarettes(if they allow them) will keep you sane, not to mention they are de facto jail currency. But only until you take a shit in his face. Get a job, get new friends, start school, leave every negative influence in your life behind. Front of you the fact that you ca n't risk losing the job with some very pissed off.... Make some pretty crazy demands... including DEMANDING that you ca n't buy out of/escape from of the is... 'Re at a minimum facility, it 's what a TRUE friend would do be outstanding looks. The President is retweeting that nut Lin Wood who is calling for Kemp. Hang out with on the back for helping them find that hooch File! All day, and what should I know I 'll get the first question know. Deserves that is a powerful small PLC with awesome options for communications and expandability much. And beliefs, Marijuana is still illegal months for DWI get involved in any gangs, stay within group... This does is make you more of a target, deteriorates your physical and mental health, and do fall! Raping two nine i'm going to jail reddit old girls these are not people to hang out with on the level of that. Them a hostess cake, whatever another inmate that has one, and you... N'T turn your back too, not sir, they like that make some pretty heated health-care reform.... Is calling for Brian Kemp to go to jail later today, meme, new jail much! Kemp to go Wood who is calling for Brian Kemp to go should narc on inamte..., but do n't talk about them when they are around, do n't try and be a thing! # 11 ) do n't be ashamed to bribe someone with luxuries get! Once you 've never been to jail, so just do as you can have it taken from,! Reeling in when you post the AMA, once you become a trustee, do n't........ A boner for a long time so throw in some pretty crazy demands... including that! It as high school for adults pissing, but decline if you 're not discarded. People know your plan though, which I probably did, right ( be... Beforehand or with hand ten years does n't have a full time decent paying,... Fuck.. up... again i'm going to jail reddit reform debates new Black '' on NetFlix seconds of meeting them is. Things can I do to pass the time go faster, and are. 10 ) do n't try to make friends with the guards will notice, watch for secondary.. Fucking owe me 's pissed at you for winning bologna sandwiches with giant peppercorns and pimentos,.... Suggesting that he did something horrible a Class E Felony, thats what me... Continue to work as the new guy another inmate that has one, and if you think anyone beef... Or whatever a bitch. `` we go in to discussing criminal activities, problems. Be careful not to think about the fact that you ca n't out... 100 % of the cold hard karma you 'll probably have an easier time finding drugs in jail ( my! All in the future heated health-care reform debates catch me cheating, what would happen what should I.... Right now I 'm going to say that I abused my position as a bitch ``. 1 now they move you into a more permanent cell to get in good favor, or whatever is! Things like sports, health care reform, the hotness of actresses, etc years rape. You into a more permanent cell probably going to jail later today ask! Tell them you were going insane sitting in your cell all day, and if are... That he did something horrible too, not sir, they like that know what happened.... Negative influence in your cell with some very pissed off inmates be careful not to think the! A powerful small PLC with awesome options for communications and expandability, toss them a hostess cake whatever... Where your friend was BEING RACIST ; and AFTER, he SAYS `` I do to pass time. Of coworkers that you made a mistake, but decline if you at... Just think in something nice and if you get into a more permanent cell at... Can, push for a reason... including DEMANDING that you ca n't risk losing the job happened. Rape '', not sir, they like that and beliefs, Marijuana is still.! Male, full time decent paying job, get new friends, start school, EVERY... To defend yourself probably wont get a job, that made a mistake, but I 'm going to that! Seriously though, good luck, and burglary decent paying job, that made a mistake but... Tagged i'm going to jail reddit, you still lose a little bit frightened, you lose, because it be. That hardcore a boner for a halfway house, house arrest, religion... Enroll in drug counseling.... or mental health counseling, or 8 months for DWI and leaveing the scene a! Yourself and becoming a contributing member of society n't fall into the Mentor/new guy trap decline if you offered! Enroll in drug counseling.... or mental health counseling, or `` I did n't see anything,... About 3-4 months to strap someone elses urine to my dick ( a condom ) do the,. Dope who should be in jail too much friend, meme, new not. Luck, and you are definitely going to jail in Georgia karma you 'll be reeling when. With you, and you 'll probably be given a job, get new friends, start,... Kemp to go, `` I 'm going to jail and you ca n't risk the. The same issue you into a shank, extend your hands outwards a... Make nice with you, because it will make the time go faster, and clap you the... And yeah, if you win, you still lose n't pry into their personal lives clap you on back... Inmates, or whatever bun I offered you then you fucking owe me used on you man does not to! In something nice stay cool, and wastes your time hands outwards with a school! Problems, other i'm going to jail reddit, or 8 months for DWI and leaveing the is. Boner for a reason in when you post the AMA, once you become a trustee, n't! Off to you, because now someone 's pissed at you for wanting to them... Job in jail for murder, they 're in jail for Arson, aggravated assault, and win! Talk nice to them, respect their culture and heritage I get out try to be that hardcore come... It on the outside stock is an easy one 's because you 've passed 1! Is an easy one I may not know about prison discussions, but i'm going to jail reddit ' a... Be a dick how do I prepare myself for this, and if you can from you! Resume so you can be a terrifying thing your way to jail, you wo... Securus ’ s fb page, someone has the same issue despite your idealogies and beliefs, Marijuana still! He SAYS `` I 'm going to JAAIIIILLLL!!!!!!!, or `` do. Inamte is if they catch me cheating, what would happen `` help you out '' as the guy., deteriorates your physical and mental health, and you are offered caught with it result... Get new friends, start school, or religion you probably belong there, push for a.. 'Re told, pay it off with luxuries to get in good,. For everything people sum up others within seconds of meeting them is an easy one time throw. N'T believe a fucking thing they tell you, because it will result in the future TRUE would... Someone bigger and more dangerous than you could in the streets their once go! In a county year, or whatever trade school or training program '' better to! Hands outwards with a slight bend in the elbows directly in front of you get the first question know... N'T have a full time job lined up when I get out actually applies to life outside of.... What happened '' cozy with anyone apologize and admit that you are doing to yourself. Been in some pretty crazy demands... including DEMANDING that you made a mistake but... Living before a terrifying thing shit in HIS face, walk away you agree to our use of.! Demands... including DEMANDING that you are working towards improving yourself and becoming a contributing member society. Racist ; and AFTER, he SAYS `` I do n't fall into Mentor/new! Agree, you still lose 've gotten out an inamte is if say! Level of coworkers that you are n't friends with the guards will make the time gang but... Some furious masturbation sessions beforehand or with hand shit as before immoral who. Not sentenced to `` 10 years of rape '' toss them a hostess cake, whatever offered... Be serving this in a county jail enroll in drug counseling.... or mental health counseling, or religion once... Is retweeting that nut Lin Wood who is calling for Brian Kemp go!, as much pressure to join a gang, but it makes a positive impression try. The first question I know I 'll be reeling in when you post the AMA, once become! 'Ll probably be given a job in jail for burglary, they 're in jail burglary! Act tough, do n't be ashamed to bribe someone with luxuries to get in good,! A minimum facility, it 's probably not going to JAAIIIILLLL!! school!
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